My relationship with A’jm has been through some odd little patches - nothing I’d even go as far as to describe as ‘bumpy,’ but things feel… restless. I just feel sort of ’bleh’ lately, and I’m not completely sure why. Though I don’t believe in Tarot telling the future, I do like sitting down to do ‘year’ reading now and then. Curious about what the cards may have said about this month ahead of time, and looking for some perspective, I looked back to one such reading, which I did in August of 2010 and recorded the draw from. January was drawn as such:
1) Moving behind me: The Knight of Pentacles
2) In love and relationships: Judgement
3) In Worldly issues: The Nine of wands
4) In Spiritual issues: The Ten of Cups
5) Things to come in February: The Knight of wands
6) The overall tone of January: The Nine of Pentacles
Spreading the cards out once more, I took a look at the reading for January a second time.
The Knight of Pentacles concerns worldly things, mostly money, school and career. He’s shown at a stand still, looking forward pensively. Certainly, this has moved behind me this month - an in pour of small jobs resulted in a nice chunk of change coming my way. I’m in a new class, and looking forward to coming work. I’m no longer waiting and wondering - I’ve moved forward and taken on a handful of small jobs.
Judgement in regards to my relationship certainly hits a chord. The first interpretation of this card is generally to react with fear - none of us want to be judged. But this card asks us to answer a higher calling, to move into greener pastures, and better places. A’jm and I have both taken efforts to consider one another’s feelings and avoid argument, more so than usual. We’ve both expressed fears over losing each other for whatever reason, but have chosen one another over all else, and decided that no matter what happens, we’re sticking together - and things are already improving. Our first year anniversary is in less than a week, and we look forward to celebrating it.
The Nine of Wands is about overcoming struggle - basically living to fight another day after getting a bit battered and bruised. This could be true just about any time of this past year for me, but this month it makes me sort of hopeful. This card encourages me to make a move and have some medical worries I’ve been struggling with emotionally checked out. Also, dealing with the flu after not having been seriously sick for a long time was something of a blow - the full run of symptoms has not been fun.
The Ten of Cups represents emotional fulfillment and happiness. Following the end of the Christmas season, taking an interest in Zen Buddhism and slowly growing in confidence regarding the steps I’ve taken so far, I’ve found a certain sense of contentment and a place to rest in my search for spirituality.
The Knight of Wands popped up in the slot for Things to come - and while I don’t sincerely believe that tarot can tell the future, I’ll keep its message in mind. That is, a reminder to take action but a warning against being brash.
The overall tone of January is the Nine of Pentacles - prosperity through self control and restraint. While the restraint aspect might not have been a huge aspect of my January - or at least felt like it - I suppose it has. Overall, I’ve taken more time to sit down and work on the things I love - namely art and illustration - and it’s brought me prosperity.
I suppose what I’m feeling right now may just be an early onset of attack by “The Great Gray Beast of February” (as described in one of my favorite childhood books, The Thief of Always). I know that it is a transitory feeling, and that there will be good things to come. Looking back on this reading from last year has reminded me of the good I’ve already encountered in the current year, and made me glad of it. It's also reminded me to look forward for the joy yet to come.
So here’s to 2011, and all it may bring.
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