Lou Engle's 'The Call' in Detroit

Lou Engle

    You’ve probably already heard, but a week or so ago, on 11/11/11, there was a prayer rally in Detroit targeting a number of groups - gays, Catholics, and African-Americans in Detroit, with an emphasis on Muslims - with group prayer. According to the organizers, this was done with the hope that these groups feel the influence of God in their lives and change their ways - which according to their faith (or at least their particular brand of it) are ’evil’ and ’sinful.’ Prayer leaders used words like ‘dark’ and ‘demonic’ to describe the lives and actions of said targets, and decried mosques, with event promoters talking about driving stakes into the grounds of Mosque properties with the intent to drive away demons.
    Understandably, the event - the preparation for which seemed to do little more than raise hostility from all sides - drew protesters from all walks of life. Members of the LGBT community, the Islamic faith and even clergy from several Christian churches of various denominations gathered to stand outside and protest ’The Call,’ which they said in practice encouraged hate rather than love, and was not Christianity as Jesus envisioned it. The organization and actual execution of the rally raised a lot of concerns, especially from the Muslim population of Detroit, and across the United States. Were they justified?

What's in a Name?

I still haven’t figured out a satisfying response I can use to answer the question, “What religion are you?”

My problem?

After several months, I think I’ve made a lot of progress on finding something that works for me - but I’m not really sure what I’d call it.

The way things work right now, I’ve learned a lot about some common divination systems (dowsing, Tarot and Runes) but I use them for introspection - not telling the future.

I’ve learned to have a certain amount of affection for various plants (I now have a favorite birch tree in a nearby park) but I don’t feel that they can actually talk to me in any verbal sense, though I sometimes feel like I’m getting some sort of response to my presence near them.

I celebrate the Sabbats - the equinoxes and solstices, and the cross-quarter holidays that come between them. I honor the concept of the God and Goddess, but when I do, I’m honoring the idea of them inside myself. I do not get the sense that there are actually any gods or goddesses watching over me or controlling my fate.

I’ve definitely found what feels like a home in Paganism - getting closer to the earth, being more nature aware, being more in tune with my body and my environment, and learning to be more empathetic towards the people around me are all things I’ve found to be encouraged under the umbrella of Pagan beliefs. I’ve found a lot of encouragement to research not only spirituality, but art, history, culture and literature. Still, I’ve run into a lot of stuff that mixes the religious aspects of what I’ve found with what feels like a lot of metaphysical fluff.

Lately I’ve been calling myself a Pagan - but is it possible to be Pagan, but worship no gods? To practice rituals without believing in magic?

A chip off the block in the road

As wonderful as my spiritual journey has been so far, it hasn’t all been rainbows and metaphorical unicorns.

Lately, night after night, I find myself sitting up until the sun rises. Two, three days go by before I give in and lay down, close my eyes, and pass into black sleep and wake feeling sluggish and worse off than I did before.

It’s the dreams.

I can’t remember most of what happens in them, but I know this - it’s almost always my father.


Hit the jump if you want to read more - but be forewarned that this is a seriously ‘downer’ post.

Assumptions make an awkward situation for you and me

We didn't have as many crosses as this, but you get the idea.

A few years ago - maybe as few as two - had I walked into a home and realized that I was in a pagan household, I would have expressed mild interest. Much further back and I might have felt a certain degree of discomfort.

My mother‘s enthusiastic discovery of Jesus Christ around 2003 meant I lived in a very Christian flavored home. Bible verses on banners and in frames, a cross in every room, a small ceramic bust of Jesus above the TV, etc. Christian pop and choir sung hymnals played all through the lit hours of the day, and some hours of the night. There was a time when I would get yelled at for wearing ’boy’ shirts or basketball shorts - after all, women aren’t supposed to wear men’s clothing, according to scripture. Living in such an environment (and having grown up attending my grandmother‘s church), it shouldn’t come as a huge surprise that I just accepted Christianity as a belief and a part of my life.

Though I had friends in high school who talked about being witches or Wiccans, I don’t know how serious they were about it then and didn’t really take it seriously. Kids in black nail polish and bondage pants came off as less youth-seeking-spirituality and more teens-rebelling-against-the-norm.

Sorry guys, but this look just doesn't scream 'seeking a deeper spiritual truth' to me.

Though I might have worried vaguely about their immortal souls at the time, I didn’t (and still don’t) believe in forcing my own beliefs on any else.

These days, now that I’m exploring a pagan path, however, I recently found myself in a very awkward feeling situation.